well i saved all my old posts. i have hundreds by now. but reverted them all to draft.

its been so long since ive written they almost seem silly now.

i know how my worries turned out.

i know how the first semester of law school ended.

it ended well.  i was happy.

i think we all have dreams of going in our first year and being the smartest person there or the hardest working person.  its an illusion.  all of the people im in school with are smart.  they are all hard workers.  its why they are there.  they lock us up and let us duke it out.  really!

we all have the same classes, the same reading, the same books, the same cases. but you have to do better. know it better.  its a huge mind game that i would have never anticipated.

so finals.

three down. one more to go.

i think they have gone good so far.  the test today knocked me a little off my balance.  but im ready for the next.

on my drive into school i was thinking.  i hope i dont ever forget what my first year of finals feels like.  there is nothing like it. the way it gets into your head.  you dream about it.  think about it.  at times its all i can talk about.

how do i do better?

people beat me last semester.

i dont know who most of them are.

grades are usually pretty secret.

but if i want to do better, i have to figure out how to beat people who have already beat me.

it is such a mind game.