wow. i thought i lost you.

i totally forgot all of my sign in information to this thing which is wildly obscure from anything else i have so i thought this sucker was long gone.

and then i found you.

things are alright.  i feel like every time i write in this thing it has been far too long.  its like having coffee with a friend you haven't seen in quite a while. wondering what all you should catch them up on.

sometimes you wind your way back to the past 12 months.

but sometimes you grab a latte. sit down with your old friend. and start in the present.

work is tough.

i enjoy it most every minute.  but the minutes add up and the hours are long.

im learning a ton. but the idea of days well beyond 12 hours, 7 days a week is scary to think of permanently if i am being honest.

but the office is the best.

its arguably the most aggressive firm in the business in houston.

the part of my personality that has become type a loves it.

but the real me. the me before law school. the me before they made be a little numb.

that me. really just wants to stay home, have babies, and bake shit.

oh i should mention my potty mouth.

i try.

i really do try not to use foul language.

but its kind of like my tired country twang.

when im tired.  i get a country twang like im straight out of west texas.

i dont know where it came from.

maybe college.

my foul language is just like that.

i dont know where it came from.

but it shows up when im being real.

ironically. when im being genuine.

you might be disappointed by this. but. although im the same person. im very different too.

instead of worrying about what color i should paint my nails (okay i still worry about that too) i worry about the world.

i worry about our clients.

i worry about learning more.

i worry about being the best person i know how.

and although i still am somehow carefree most times. the burdens of the world around me constantly bring me to rub my eyes in disbelief.

im so different.

they told me i would be.

and i dont know how they did it.

the little girl who only two years ago trembled in her seat to be called on in class will freely stand up and talk about what i believe in.

not because im a douchebag.  at least i dont think so.  but because i have found my voice.

even if its only screaming.  i just want to bake shit. most of the time.