wow. the last few posts have been so deep.

i guess i find myself coming back to this place when i have something to say and no one really to share it with.

im almost done.

with law school.

it was easily the most difficult thing i have done it my entire life.

people would tell me that they envied my opportunity.

or that the wish they could do it too.

all the time.

and i get that.

it was a huge opportunity.

and a great opportunity for growth.

and I'm a so proud of myself for enduring the struggles.

there were moments when i looked at artie and simply said:

im done.

i cant.

i wont. 

im not smart enough.

everything else is on the back burner. things that are more important.

its not fair.

and i cried.

holy moly i cried.

usually from proud moments.

or moments of relief.

or moments of acknowledgment.

i know what its like to have your stomach in a thousand knots.

i know what it is to doubt myself.

to question my own ability.

to get called on in class.

words falling out of my mouth that make absolutely no sense.

i have been embarrassed.

i have been tired.

i have been proud.

my ego has expanded and shriveled in the course of a day.

its law school.

it taught me the law.

and how to argue.

but more than anything it taught me so much about myself.

I'm eternally grateful for the experience.

and with a little over 24 hours until my last final.

ever piece of me yearns for the feeling of freedom.